


Conscripted

by CuriousThimble



Series: Birds of A Feather [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Conscription, Duncan hate, Duncan love, Friendship, Gen, Grey Warden - Freeform, TW: murder mention, argument, character backstory, character origin, female grey warden - Freeform, tw: rape mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-21
Updated: 2018-11-21
Packaged: 2019-08-26 20:38:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16688443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CuriousThimble/pseuds/CuriousThimble
Summary: Alistair and Tabris argue over her hard feelings toward Duncan, but when he learns more about Tabris and how she came to be a Grey Warden, things begin to change.





	Conscripted

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my new series! I'll probably be posting this up sporadically, and likely out of order, so please forgive me in advance. I'll be fleshing out some of my Fictober pieces and pulling together a tidy little plot line in the near future. Enjoy!

“I don't understand why you hate Duncan so much! Why do you hate the Grey Wardens?”

 

“Because I’m a murderer, Alistair!” Tabris shouts. “Because I slaughtered an estate full of men and never once stopped to consider if they were truly my enemy. I cut through them like a scythe through wheat,” she says, dropping her voice to a growl. “Because people were hurt or died because I couldn't stop it, so I killed innocent men. I murdered an Arl’s son and his friends for what they did to us, and I feel no regret for it. He conscripted me for  _ that _ kind of skill. The Grey Wardens are full of people like me.”

 

“I’m not like you,” he growls.

 

“You may be the only Grey Warden who isn't,” she snaps. “But believe me, there’s nothing honorable about who I’ve been and what I’ve done. Forgive me if I can’t give Duncan the hero worship you do. All he did was save me from the gallows for  _ this. _ ”

 

“Did you  _ want _ to die?” he demands.

 

“Yes!” she shouts, rising up on her toes to try and get in his face. 

 

Alistair looks stunned and steps back. “W-What?” he asks, lowering his voice.

 

“Yes, I wanted to die,” she says, matching his volume, her anger radiating off her. “Then I wouldn't have had to look at my cousins and friends who were beaten and raped by the man  _ I _ couldn't protect them from. Wouldn't have to see the pity on their faces for the life I lost that day as Duncan dragged me out of the alienage. You think all the Wardens are honorable knights but don’t ever forget that  _ this _ one is a murderer and proud of it.”

 

Alistair looks thoroughly ashamed of himself. “I-I’m sorry, Kallian,” he says softly. “I had no idea. When Duncan said he’d had to conscript you, I thought...well, it wasn't  _ that. _ ”

 

“It doesn't matter,” she says angrily. “Let’s just not talk about it. We should move on anyway, it’s a long way to Redcliffe.”

 

***

Alistair leaves her alone for the rest of the afternoon, talking instead with Leliana and trying to ignore the fury rolling off the elf directed at him. He felt awful, dragging all that out in the open where anyone could have heard. He couldn’t even imagine the scene she’d described: her loved ones hurt and violated, her entire life ruined by the unrelenting anger that had filled her words as she’d told him how she’d swept through the castle like a one-woman army.

 

He felt worse when she spoke to him in brusque sentences, her voice clipped and flat. Alistair had never considered himself a coward, but he’d breathed a sigh of relief when he pulled the second watch and she volunteered to take the first. It gave him some time to think about how to apologize while he stared at the roof of his tent for two hours.

 

“Alistair?”

 

The voice outside his tent was so soft he wasn’t sure he heard it at first. He sat up, shaking his head when he heard it again. “Kallian?”

 

“Can we...can we talk?”

 

He nodded before realizing that there was a tent wall between them. “Sure,” he said, scrambling to his knees. “I’ll come out now.”

 

Her back was to him, knees pulled up to her chest, making her look much younger than she was. The firelight reflected off the Warden’s Oath in her hands, making the blood inside glow ominously. 

 

“I always thought that I’d be there,” she said softly, turning the amulet in her hands. “I would protect them from the shems. But the  _ one _ time I couldn’t…” She shook her head, closing her fist over the amulet. “I can’t love Duncan for conscripting me.”   
  
“You can’t protect  _ anyone _ if you’re dead,” he reminded her, sitting beside her and making sure not to look at her. “And we have a whole lot more than one alienage to take care of now.”

 

He heard Kallian Tabris take a deep breath as if the thought had never occurred to her. “You know, for a shem, you’re not half as stupid as Morrigan thinks you are.”

 

Alistair laughed, throwing his head back and making Barkimedes raise his head and whine. “Well, I guess I should thank the Maker for that, Kallian.”

 

She wrinkled her nose, looking like an adorable little doll. “Call me Tabris,” she suggested. “I don’t know if I’m ever going to be who Kallian was.”

 

He nodded thoughtfully. “If you wish, Tabris. Why don’t you go on to bed? I can take over from here.”

 

Tabris gets to her feet, pushing her long blonde hair behind her. “Thank you,” she said, not looking at him. “For not telling anyone about...earlier.”

 

“We’re Grey Wardens,” he said simply. “Your past is your own.”


End file.
